This summer I really wanted to make sure that I just enjoyed summer so I’ve already hit up the beach a couple times and plan on going a few more times before our short summer comes to a close. For me, relaxing on the beach is one of the places where I can actually turn off my brain, relax and enjoy some down time and of course get my tan on. I swear I should have been born somewhere tropical. However, I’m not used to going to beaches here in the greater Toronto area. I usually wait to enjoy the beach when I go on vacation in a tropical destination. When I go away I usually take a fun swimsuit for each day so I have a different one everyday – packing light is not my vocabulary.
And as I discovered this past weekend, there is a very big difference between living in a swimsuit for a week somewhere down south and being on the beach somewhere in the Toronto area. The obvious differences are things like I was at a lake instead of an ocean, the sand is dark instead of white, the sun is a little different and so on. But the biggest difference I found this weekend was that a woman who is plus size or curvy or fat or whatever you want to call me wearing a cute, bright, colourful (ie. Not black) bikini and who walks around the beach and it’s attractions with no shame and actually quite confidently makes people REALLY uncomfortable.
Since I started modeling in the last year or so I have (on many occasions) worn swimsuits on the runway struttin my stuff with 6 inch pumps on, have done a couple swim wear photo shoots and it’s one of my fav pieces of clothing to purchase now that I love who I am. I have no qualms about wearing my swimsuits but apparently those around me still do.
I got stares and gwaks and I could hear people whispering and to my surprise I actually didn’t care. You see once upon a time I used to cover up everything when I was anywhere near water or a beach (like legit shorts and a t-shirt). I hid in shame but those days are longgggg gone. If I love me, that’s really all that matters and quite frankly I’m not sorry I make you uncomfortable. But, it does make me wonder why you think you’re better than me that you can wear whatever you want, and what you like but I can’t? Well honey, the truth is that you aren’t better than me, just like I’m not better than you. But, I hope you love yourself as much as I love myself – cause life is much more enjoyable that way.
Now I know some of you may ask, well of course you’re more comfortable in a swimsuit now, you’ve lost 65 pounds, but were you comfortable at your heaviest in a swimsuit? HECK YES! But, not until I loved me. At the Miss Plus Canada Pageant I got to rock the cutest indigo blue an white polka dot swimsuit from Always for Me. Girllllllll if you would have seen me come on that stage with my head held high and the biggest smile on my face at 317 pounds, you would have got up in a bikini on stage as well and wouldn’t have second guessed yourself.
Now here’s where something is a little different …. On social media there is such a movement for women to love their bodies. There is a community, there is support and encouragement. Sure there are some nasty trolls out there but for the most part on my social media I have support and my highest double tapped and commented photos are of me rocking out a 2 piece swimsuit. I feel so supported and confident that I didn’t even second guess choosing a 2 piece to wear to the beach and thought people would think it was great – however I forgot that sometimes in the real world, people aren’t in your circle of influence and they don’t support but rather they ridicule and are uncomfortable by your confidence.
The difference between the 2 worlds are still very big and we need to continue to work on body acceptance. This isn’t about promoting being plus size. This isn’t saying that if your plus size, curvy, fat, etc you are better than some one of a smaller size…my message to you is that no matter the number on the scale, love who you are, TODAY!!!! Wear what you want. Your confidence, wardrobe, happiness, beauty and fulfillment in life should not be dependent of the number on the scale. And who cares if you make people feel uncomfortable that you’re comfortable in your own skin.
On Saturday I got stares, whispers, people pointing at me, etc for wearing a 2 piece to the beach…meanwhile on my social media people were encouraged that I had the confidence to do so. #effyourbeautystandards reposted my photo (for the first time) and there are almost 4000 likes and so many comments of encouragement. So instead of tearing anyone else down, or tearing yourself down, stop and think about how it feels and use your energy and your words to build others up and yourself up if you have to.
To those who gave me dirty looks, looked down on me, made fun of me…. #effyourbeautystandards and enjoy these pics of me rocking out one of my new fav swimsuits from Forever 21 cause it’s pretty awesome!
And as I discovered this past weekend, there is a very big difference between living in a swimsuit for a week somewhere down south and being on the beach somewhere in the Toronto area. The obvious differences are things like I was at a lake instead of an ocean, the sand is dark instead of white, the sun is a little different and so on. But the biggest difference I found this weekend was that a woman who is plus size or curvy or fat or whatever you want to call me wearing a cute, bright, colourful (ie. Not black) bikini and who walks around the beach and it’s attractions with no shame and actually quite confidently makes people REALLY uncomfortable.
Since I started modeling in the last year or so I have (on many occasions) worn swimsuits on the runway struttin my stuff with 6 inch pumps on, have done a couple swim wear photo shoots and it’s one of my fav pieces of clothing to purchase now that I love who I am. I have no qualms about wearing my swimsuits but apparently those around me still do.
I got stares and gwaks and I could hear people whispering and to my surprise I actually didn’t care. You see once upon a time I used to cover up everything when I was anywhere near water or a beach (like legit shorts and a t-shirt). I hid in shame but those days are longgggg gone. If I love me, that’s really all that matters and quite frankly I’m not sorry I make you uncomfortable. But, it does make me wonder why you think you’re better than me that you can wear whatever you want, and what you like but I can’t? Well honey, the truth is that you aren’t better than me, just like I’m not better than you. But, I hope you love yourself as much as I love myself – cause life is much more enjoyable that way.
Now I know some of you may ask, well of course you’re more comfortable in a swimsuit now, you’ve lost 65 pounds, but were you comfortable at your heaviest in a swimsuit? HECK YES! But, not until I loved me. At the Miss Plus Canada Pageant I got to rock the cutest indigo blue an white polka dot swimsuit from Always for Me. Girllllllll if you would have seen me come on that stage with my head held high and the biggest smile on my face at 317 pounds, you would have got up in a bikini on stage as well and wouldn’t have second guessed yourself.
Now here’s where something is a little different …. On social media there is such a movement for women to love their bodies. There is a community, there is support and encouragement. Sure there are some nasty trolls out there but for the most part on my social media I have support and my highest double tapped and commented photos are of me rocking out a 2 piece swimsuit. I feel so supported and confident that I didn’t even second guess choosing a 2 piece to wear to the beach and thought people would think it was great – however I forgot that sometimes in the real world, people aren’t in your circle of influence and they don’t support but rather they ridicule and are uncomfortable by your confidence.
The difference between the 2 worlds are still very big and we need to continue to work on body acceptance. This isn’t about promoting being plus size. This isn’t saying that if your plus size, curvy, fat, etc you are better than some one of a smaller size…my message to you is that no matter the number on the scale, love who you are, TODAY!!!! Wear what you want. Your confidence, wardrobe, happiness, beauty and fulfillment in life should not be dependent of the number on the scale. And who cares if you make people feel uncomfortable that you’re comfortable in your own skin.
On Saturday I got stares, whispers, people pointing at me, etc for wearing a 2 piece to the beach…meanwhile on my social media people were encouraged that I had the confidence to do so. #effyourbeautystandards reposted my photo (for the first time) and there are almost 4000 likes and so many comments of encouragement. So instead of tearing anyone else down, or tearing yourself down, stop and think about how it feels and use your energy and your words to build others up and yourself up if you have to.
To those who gave me dirty looks, looked down on me, made fun of me…. #effyourbeautystandards and enjoy these pics of me rocking out one of my new fav swimsuits from Forever 21 cause it’s pretty awesome!
I’ve also included some other pics of me in swimswear including me in the Swimwear portion of the Miss Plus Canada Pageant rocking the Always for Me piece I mentioned.
Swimsuits in order:
Forever21, Always For Me, Modelling at Caribbean Fashion Plus Week, Gigi Jorie, Swimsuits for all, Walmart, Swimsuits for All, Rainbow
Stay Beautiful!
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