Well we’re back at it again, Julie-Anne and I – my purpose mate. (Heyyyyyyyyaaaaa! – Julie-Anne here- all my contributions will be in pink). This is a very different type of post but we both felt we needed to share some important messages with you and add a little bit of a story board to it. We learned quite a bit through even just putting this together and I’d say we both even grew some more when it comes to appreciating our bodies, and each other’s. You will get to hear from both of us throughout this blogpost so keep that in mind as you read. Enjoy!
Growing up I didn’t see women like me in any sort of media. There were no plus size girls on the cover of magazines, no plus size girls in fashionable clothes and no plus size clothes in the stores my friends shopped at. At the age of 12 I was a size 12 and a towering 5’10 and finding clothes was hard.
Even today when I look at most magazine covers, big time ad campaigns and on tv, you don’t usually see a plus size girl without a flat tummy. We have come leaps and bounds when it comes to plus size fashion, self-love, body positivity, etc but where are the plus size girls who don’t have a flat tummy cause I certainly don’t have one.
Another hurdle in the journey to loving myself and my body is that I have had to combat my own inner demons but also those of other people and the most used and unwelcomed comment I’ve heard all of my life is…. “You’ve got such a pretty face” as to say that the rest of me is not good enough. This is my body – lumps, bumps, curves, cellulite and all, but am I not worthy of everything in life as someone who is a size 2? Being labeled fat, ugly, lazy, and tolerable all my life has meant a lot of undoing of the negative words spoken over me and replacing them with truth but seeing my own beauty has been the most challenging thing and yet the most rewarding.
Hey all! Julie-Anne here. Glad to be back! Being a woman can be tough- especially when it comes to self-image as most of us know. I have been considered “normal or regular” size in Western society ((that’s a lie just FYI- What is regular anyway?). With that said J-Lo and Beyoncé came through (beautiful ladies may I add) and suddenly thick became a standard again. What I quickly realized is that if you have hips you better have a small waist. If you have a small waist you better have a curvy bottom. Of course this all has to be balanced right? So you better have the thick thighs to go with it. Of course make sure there is no cellulite. May I add- flat tummy. Yep, even though I didn’t claim this is what I needed, this is certainly the pressure that I suddenly felt. I started to be recognized and valued for my body. Funny thing is many people will still read this post, look at my picture and still dissect where I could be better. Or better yet, I will get judged for saying there is anything wrong with my body because of comparison- as if all women are not allowed to have insecurities? WRONG-we all do.
“She has a cute face but look at her body”- common statement I heard. This statement, of course maybe meant complimentary at times, also became an unwelcomed pressure and standard. My standard of beauty became how big I could get my ass, how small could I get my waist, and make sure my stomach was tight. Suddenly the value of my body meant the value of my happiness. If I didn’t keep up a certain body type then that means I am not as beautiful right? NOT.
On the journey to loving my body, fighting the “If only I had” thoughts have been some of the toughest. We are told we need to have no cellulite, no fat, we should have curves in all the right places, wings aren’t cute if they aren’t on a bird, that we should have big butts and big boobs and a flat tummy. We dissect our bodies so much and almost prepare ourselves for surgery – as if that is going to make us any happier or any better of a human being.
“Wings aren’t cute if they aren’t on a bird”- Ha Ha Sarah I love this. So ridiculous right? Except most of us women live by it. How many of us stand in front of the mirror and dissect. I certainly did. How many us stated “if only I could” …you fill in the blank. I certainly did.
Once we analyze our bodies and mark ourselves all up will we be happy? Or what about actually going under the knife – will it ever be enough? Will you love yourself anymore because you got rid of that wobbly bit? Do you judge your fellow woman and filter your view of her through your own insecurities? We can look perfect if we cut that off and suck that in and then contour it, right? So now we look perfect, or we will be once we can address all the areas of our body we aren’t happy with and we should wait to enjoy life until we can address it all, right?? WRONG!!!
You said it Sarah! Reality is until we learn to love ourselves, the “only ifs” will continue forever. They are never ending. Goals are great, healthy ones of course, but loving who we are in the moment is so important. We are beautiful ladies; let’s live for our beautiful selves NOW!!
It’s time to not only look in the mirrors at ourselves and see our beauty, it’s time to start cheering other women on to see how absolutely amazing and beautiful they are. YOU, yes YOU, are beautiful just the way that you are. You are stronger than you realize, you are capable of more than you can imagine and you are worthy of the fullest life possible! The only catch is that you need to see this in yourself to start attaining all that is for you.
It’s time to challenge the pressure. It’s time to say I love me for who I am. Dig deep and ask yourself, what lies are holding me back? What lies do I need to challenge? What societal pressures are holding me captive? Until you dig deep with the hard stuff, you will never be able to experience the freedom and joy of all that is the wonderful YOU.
We are prefect just the way that we are! It’s just time for us to really realize it. Take it all in and start seeing yourself in a different light. Yup I have my own lumps, bumps and rolls but hey they are mine and they don’t make me any less of a woman and they don’t change my worth or value and they certainly don’t mean that I can’t have a kick ass life, cause let’s be honest, my fat has not got in the way of all that I’ve been able to do.
AMEN SISTA!
Julie-Anne and I actually learned a lot in preparation of this shoot and this post. We actually faced some of our own insecurities that were lingering and we faced them head on. For me, being next to a woman who I perceive as having the perfect body in just my skivvies, well that was facing a fear. But through it I learned an even deeper appreciate for my body. I also learned during this time as well that women of all sizes have their own insecurities and it doesn’t really matter what size you are.
Yep- she is talking about me here. Sarah considered me to have a “perfect body”. Funny thing is after taking these pictures and seeing I had actually wanted to kibosh the whole shoot. I know right?? Silly me! My fear of the world seeing me on my bloated day, I look too puffy day, I broke out before the shoot day became real. My body doesn’t look perfect-I look chubby. Try saying that to a plus size advocate. I almost got slapped! LOL We both realized that insecurities run deep for any woman. Its normal but we need to support one another to a journey of self-love. #lovebodyjourney.
So my question is, when are we just going to get over them and just love ourselves and each other? I sure know that I see my body differently after this.
ME TOO!
Photos by the Talented Robert Skuja Photography– thank you for making our vision come to live
Calvin Klein Bra and Underwear from The Bay
Julie-Anne can be found on Instagram HERE
Amazing truths!!! We need to be bold and confident and love who we are. Then others will love the great women we have become!
Thank you for sharing this! Wow, so needed and wanted xo