In the past week I’ve had 2 different sets of feedback from people.  One was from a friend that said she didn’t know where I came up with all my content for blogs and always have something to talk about and the other was from another friend who had to come to my defense recently because when people meet me in person I’m really quiet and shy and it comes off a little rude.  The second one made me a little sad and also made me realize that we all have preconceived notions.

I guess I have a lot to say at times and I’m really reflective which is why I always have something to talk about in my blog and it’s actually kind of like a creative outlet and part of my healing process.  I think because I have a lot to say in my blogs that people think I’m this extreme extrovert who has a lot to say in person too but, believe it or not, I’m actually quite shy in big groups – ok I’m quite shy in life, lets’ be honest lol.  I’ve also recently realized about myself that I do like my alone time to regroup and rest.  You might say that I am a little bit of this, and a little bit of that.  I’m all about relationships and having conversation but I’m usually better in an intimate setting.

But, if you were to come up to me when you meet me and ask if I was ok, I’d tell you yes of course, why do you ask.  And if you were to tell me that I seem quiet I’d tell you, well this is sort of me.  It sounds a little strange because I have enough guts to get up on a stage and share my story very openly, or rip the runway or talk a lot in my blogs or on social media.  However, did you know that I legit get crazy nervous (like we’re talking the sweats and the constant feeling like I have to pee, etc.) every time I have to get on stage or I’m going to rip a runway or post a blog even. Yet, it doesn’t stop me because this isn’t all about me.  This is not the Sarah show.

I have a lot to say in my blogs because I’m passionate about the things I write about and its so important for me to share what I’ve learned so women can learn how to live happy lives and truly love who they are.  Blogging also allows me to take the time to think about what I want to say, what message I want to get across and it’s very well thought out.  In person, I don’t always have as much to say because I don’t have to be the one always talking but it doesn’t mean that I’m unfriendly or that I don’t want to be there.  I love meeting new people, hearing their stories and learning about them but it often takes me a little bit of time to warm up, get comfortable and truth be told, I like hearing other people talk and share what they are up to.

A friend was at a photoshoot recently where there were several fellow models and bloggers and there I was sitting off in a quiet area just observing everything that was going on – I wasn’t like away from everyone, just in a quieter area.  I connected with people one at a time for the most part and spent time getting to know them a little bit more.  I also engaged with everyone as well but I don’t need to always be talking.

I’ve found through the journey that there is actually a need for the being quiet and being still.  I mean let’s be honest, I’m moving a lot and doing a lot and talking a lot, and writing a lot and I’m not always ‘on’.  That’s not my personality in a crowd.  When I’m in a smaller circle, that’s a little different – my friends might tell you they wish I’d just shut up some times lol.

I guess what I’ve learned about myself is that I don’t always have to be loud and outgoing (maybe I need to step outside my comfort zone from time to time) and that I am very relational.  I don’t really care for small talk, I’d rather have heart to heart conversations and hear about YOU and your story.  I am always up for going out – to a party and enjoying life but I’m quite ok not being the center of attention, sitting back, people watching and enjoying your company.
The lesson is, be true to you.  Does it mean that going forward I’m going to make it a point to stay quiet at events and in large settings, no.  I will probably make a little bit more effort to be more engaging – and maybe make sure I don’t have a resting bitch face but I will never be someone I’m not and having to be the center of attention and overly loud.  Everyone is different and you get to be who you want to be – I used to think I had to conform to what everyone else wanted, but those days are gone.
Here’s an outfit that inspired this blog.  This outfit is a little different but it’s me and hey, guess what – I’m allowed to do different. As the weather in Toronto keeps changing its mind and is warm one day and cold the next,  I’m looking for some cute staple pieces in my wardrobe that are versatile.  I don’t know about your office but mine can’t keep up with the weather and is either hot one day or freezing the next.  However, this little tank from SWAK is perfect – The Audrey Lace tank .  It’s nicer than just a plain cami because it has a little bit of lace detail and is a little loose fitting.  For this look I paired it with a suede brown skirt I picked up off the clearance rack at Old Navy for $7, yup, $7!!!  Paired with some black tights from Addition – Elle, my tall boots and a few accessories from Adrene (earings) and Fifth Avenue Collection (bracelet).  I’m not going to lie, I also feel a little bit like Pocahontas in this outfit.
Top by SWAK – The Audrey Lace Tank
Skirt from Old Navy
Tights from Addition Elle
Boots from Sirens
Photos by Robert Skuja
All photos © 2015 Robert Skuja Photography
Eye Lashes (extensions) by Love Ur Look Beauty my official eyelash specialist
Makeup by Sara Bella Makeup – she not only did my makeup, she has her own line of makeup and used that! I’m in love with her stuff and she’s just all around amazing- be sure to check her out!
​Hair by Lavish Salon & Spa ​