Welcome to the continuation of my #LoveBodyJourney for #FitnessFridays.

If you missed the first post, be sure to catch up and read about how this all even came to be.  Here’s the LINK

When we ended the blog last time I had just told you that I completed 3 months of Whole30 and had my inflammation in my body come down quite a bit and my pain was improving.  So what did I do next….

At this point I was 3 months to go before my surgery date and I knew that my next move would either drive me closer to having gastric bypass or it was my last opportunity to try something natural to get the weight off and get out of pain.  One of my friends had told me about a trainer she was working with that she was confident could help me. So, I contacted him and that week booked my consultation with him.

The next 3 months I worked with Drew who owns Body by the Brit.  This training was very different than any other training I had ever experienced.  Keep in mind that my ribs popped out frequently (we’re talking weekly) and for the last 3-4 years I’ve been at the chiropractor weekly or bi-weekly. Using my upper body at all was painful, not to mention my lower back.  With Drew we just worked on engaging my muscles and trying to get them to engage again.  We only trained 3 times a week for 30 minutes and I would try and get some cardio in when I wasn’t working out with him but that was it.

Those first 3 months of fitness were Hard!!!!!  Every time we tried something new (especially with my upper body), I had a headache and was in pain because I was using muscles that were like dead and damaged.  But, Drew was patient and we pushed through and I started making progress.  If you watched us train you’d think, man that’s so basic and what is that actually doing to help but it was the foundation of my progress.  Here’s an example….I would hold a PVC pipe (a black plastic pipe) at chest level in front of me and I would tighten my grip and pull outwards, then push inwards.  It was this type of thing we did to just engage my muscles.  Of course, we built on this…

In the middle of that time too I went to Jamaica with a friend for vacation and wore a 2 piece and it was here was I realized this big body was beautiful.  4 days after my return from that trip I left for another trip that changed my life.  I flew to Trinidad with a few other Canadian beauties and we ripped the runway in Caribbean Plus Fashion week.

It was here that I stepped way outside my box and mostly modeled swimsuits, 2 pieces even.  Because I’m tall, most of the outfits were not long enough, but the swimsuits fit.  So, 75% of what I modeled was swimwear.  I also did my first swimsuit photo shoot.  It was here that I fell in love with runway and it’s also where I fell more in love with my body – still at about 300 pounds I’ll add.  I felt beautiful and had discovered something I loved – ripping the runway and living in swimwear.  Check out some photos from Jamaica (the first 2 pics) and Trinidad (the rest of the pics) below.

When I returned from my trips I continued on training with Drew until I had completed 3 months with him.  In the 3 months we trained together I had seen an decrease in pain, increase in strength and ability to do anything really.  I also lost over 25 inches and another 15 pounds which was a bonus.  I was sad for this time to come to an end but I had bought my first home (something I thought would be 10 years down the road – a total miracle) and couldn’t afford a trainer anymore.  But, the place I bought is in a complex with condos and townhouses and there was now a gym that was a 30 second walk from my front door.
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Just before finishing my time with Drew, I called my surgeon and canceled my surgery date for gastric bypass.   When I called they were kind of thrown off and asked if I wanted to reschedule, or like really cancel.  I really canceled.  It was liberating and yet scary because I asked myself, what if I couldn’t get out of pain.  What if I couldn’t lose weight to help my back but something inside me knew that I could do this.

The picture on the left is the first day I trained with Drew compared to my last day trained with Drew and the other collage is the difference from the Pageant (June 30, 2014) and the progress I had sen up until this point in that same outfit.

So, once I was moved into my new place and a little settled, I made it a priority to get into a routine to work out 5 days a week.  The struggle was real.  I got really sick shortly after and had a hard time being active but I was determined. At the beginning of January I had found a trainer online – Dammndee and I purchased one of his 30 day challenges.  It consisted of HIIT routines, cardio and incorporating weights.  The first week I actually thought I was going to die.  It was hella hard but again, I was determined.  By the end of the month, I had an increase in strength and my cardio had improved, my body could physically do more and I had lost 6 pounds and 16.5 inches in total.  I did have to modify some of the workouts because of my back issues but I just modified them and kept pushing on.  Here is a picture of the first day I started with his plan and after my 30 days. It was during this time that I started sharing more of my fitness journey on my social media.
Shortly after finishing my month with him I actually put my neck/back out because of a stressful event in my life happening – my neck was out for 2 weeks and I couldn’t turn my neck so I paused working out.  What happened?  Well, I had court for my accident and had to sit in a different chair than I was used to all day and was interrogated for 4 hours about the accident and the stress just caused so many issues in my body and I had to see my ex-husband again, so all that stress was absorbed in my body causing major issues.  Now see, this is the reason that I am so determined and that I only have the option of continuing down this process – if I don’t, this could keep happening and quality of life is really crummy when you can’t move your neck, are in constant pain and can’t stand up straight.  Not cool.  I can’t even describe the frustration of this – and this was my life for now 4 years at this point.  I was done with this happening…so I kept going and keep going.   The fight to keep going has been hard but I never gave up….

Once my neck and back were doing much better (March 2015) I met with a trainer Daniel Ashmeade of Ashmeade Fitness who came to my gym at my place and put together a plan for me that would help me build strength and was tailored to my issues.  Dan’s workouts consisted of a balance of weight training (yes, women should), cardio, HIIT and abs.  It was at this time I stepped my game up and started 6am workouts to work out before work.  I committed to 5-6 days a week and just gave it all I had.  Just a couple weeks into it I got slammed with bronchitis and the struggle got tougher but I rested where I could and kept pushing.

You see sometimes things come up and against us, not just physically but in life…and we have 2 choices…1. give up or 2. keep pushing.  I keep choosing the second option, giving up is not an option.

In April I thought I could try having some wheat and had a bit of sugar – big mistake.  My pain was horrible and I was legit sick (we’re talkin the runs for 3 days).  People have asked me, well now that you’ve lost weight, why don’t you just eat bread again.  My body literally reacts and rejects it, so it’s not an option….so I keep going with what I know my body likes.

So by the middle of April after following Dan’s plan, pain was down, strength was increasing more and I was down almost 10 inches, but no weight.  It was here where I realized the scale didn’t really matter.  I mean I knew the scale didn’t define me but through this process I’ve had to learn  that my measuring stick is now how much I weigh or what I look like but it’s how I feel.  What is my pain like, how do my lungs feel, can I move around freely, those types of questions.

It is because of this focus that I can continue to stay body positive through this process.  The goal is not to get ‘skinny’.  The goal is to love my body today, as it is but that love also requires taking care of it and giving it what it needs.  I notice that if I go more than 3 days without hitting the gym or I eat wheat, dairy, sugar or processed food my pain goes up again for a few days, I’m uncomfortable, could have the runs and sometimes get a headache.  So, I’m learning what my body actually needs to be happy and when my body is happy, I’m happy and can do all the things that are going on in my life.

I’m going to pause here and pick up next week.  What I want to leave you with is this….

As you can see through this part of my journey especially, I had decided to do everything I could to do get out of pain.  This was always my focus.  This was not about conforming to society’s views on what a woman’s body ‘should’ look like.  My goal was not to get skinny, my goal has always been to get out of pain and live a better life.  I have learned to love my body today.  There are days that are harder than others and sometimes through it I’ve lost sight of that goal but I always come back to it and remember how far I’ve come.  I celebrate all victories, big and small and I keep my focus on a good life and loving my body.  This is my #LoveBodyJourney.

Don’t forget to share with me your #LoveBodyJourney by using my hashtag!  I would love to hear from you and your journey!
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Until next week…