It’s Just as Hard to be Ken as it is to be Barbie – A series on Fashionable #BOPO Men- Featuring Benjamin

So this is Part 2 of my series that I’m so excited to be doing!  If you missed Part 1 on Ricardo – click HERE

Often when I tell people what I do and what I’m passionate about – it usually revolves on saying that I’m passionate about helping women see their value, worth, beauty and falling in love with themselves and their bodies.  When I tell this to the men who ask – they often follow up with – well what about the men?  Why do you just talk to women about this stuff….

So, because of that, I decided that what better way to talk to men about this than feature a few men who have journeyed through to a place of self love and are sharing their message with the world.  Over the next few weeks I will be featuring some stories of men who you may be able to relate to, you may see inside of what men have to deal with when it comes to body image, confidence and even some fun topics like dating.  So today…let me introduce you to….Benjamin, who you’ve seen on my blog before.

(All his social media handles will be listed below so you can follow him)

How and why did you get started with modelling?

I actually got started in modeling just by trying to be a positive role model for others going through the same type of issues I’ve dealt with in my life like bullying, weight gain and loss, relationship issues, self confidence etc. I was kind of sawed out for that and here I am and I love it.

What was it like growing up as a plus size male and what are things like today for you?

I wasn’t always “fat” growing up but at a young age the bullies would say I was and after a few years I believed it so much that I just let myself go. I then did turn into the “fat kid”.  It was hard sometimes, there were days I’d come home and lock myself in my room trying to shut out the word. You know other kids, the skinnier athletic type guys where all starting to date and get girlfriends and there I was alone girls would always give me the “I wish I could meet a guy like you” “you’re such a good friend” “you’re like my brother” and we all know what that means.

Today, well today I’m a Model.

I’m out here showing those bullies and those girls I grew up with that I am someone I am attractive and I am special. Not only am I showing them but I’m hopefully showing a new younger generation that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That the typical stereotype of beauty portrayed in the ads doesn’t really define one’s beauty or worth.

Women plus size models and bloggers are really helping to change the game when it comes to what we see in media as well as how brands are able to reach their consumers however we are only starting to see this happen with plus size men.  Why do you think this is so important and where do you see this going in the future?

This is very important. Just like the average American women the typical American man is not a size 30. Just like the women, we men would love to see clothes that we know would fit us. We want to see ads that have that typical American man showing off the newest styles. And most of all we at least I know I would, love to be able to go to the mall and be able to shop at a normal store. Be able to buy clothes off the rack. Unfortunately, I don’t see this being an over night thing. I don’t think there are enough men willing to push for the style. Too many plus size men have just accepted the limited fashion choose they have. So I think it will be a very hard long road ahead for guys like myself and the other very inspirational men in the business but I have faith that it will eventually become as much a reality as it has for the plus size women.

I recently heard someone say that being a plus size woman in today’s world is harder than it is to be a plus size male – do you think this is true, what are your thoughts either way?

I don’t believe that one bit…We all have the same insecurities. Only problem is most guys are afraid to show it. They’re afraid of being called a “wuss, a woman, told to quit crying be a man” well let me be the one to tell you, I’ve cried myself to sleep many times over my weight when my ex wife would tell me “you’re too fat to love, too fat to find attractive” I’ve looked in the mirror and point out every little flaw that I hate about my body, I’ve had anxiety attacks when I’ve had to go somewhere important and I couldn’t find anything to wear that didn’t make me feel fat. Just because most men are too scared or have too much pride to say theses things doesn’t mean they don’t feel them or that its any easier for them from day to day.

Why do you think it’s so important to be a voice for other men?

For the same reason I just described. Men don’t talk about these kinds of things but we do think about them. Someone has to be the voice and not only show men that they can be happy in their bodies despite their size but the also get more companies to provide the styles and clothing that we help us to feel better when we go out.  “When you look good you feel good”

What is it like looking for a fashionable wardrobe as a plus size man?  Are there limited options or do you have lots of options?

We have very limited options. Again we can just go to the mall and walk in to any old store and buy what we like. We are limited to the big and tall section of the major department stores where its primarily some sort of plaid or flannel shirt and either basic black or blue jeans. Not to mention the extra cost of buying from that section.

What would you say your style is?

I don’t have a style…I’m a firm believer in “wear what makes you feel good” some days that may be jeans and a T-shirt the next a dress shirt with a bowtie.

What is your biggest challenge when it comes to fashion?

For me its trying to get people to think out side the box of the most recent fad. Don’t follow a fad. Dress the way you want to and maybe someday you’ll be the one everyone else is copying.

What are some of your favourite go to brands?

Go to brands hmmmm…..

Guess, Dickies, Dockers, Large Lad Clothing, Colasso, anything from Maximus Box just to name a few.

What is it like dating at a plus size man? Do you feel that you are judged based on your size?

To be honest, Its hard. My dating life at the moment is pretty much nonexistent. Not because I don’t try mind you. Unfortunately, the cold truth is too many women and men place a standard on beauty and plus size doesn’t fit into a lot of those people’s standards.

With the online popularity that you have been receiving, I am sure there also comes with it a little bit of negative attention.  How do you manage to stay so positive when there are quite a few critics out there commenting on what you produce?

Its can be hard sometimes but I manage to stay positive by looking at all the good attention. For every 100 good comments I may get 1 bad one. Why am I going to harp on that one person when I have 100 others that I have just made happier in some way. You can’t please everyone and that’s ok.

What does life look like for you outside the fashion world?

Out side of the fashion world I’m an EMT in an Emergency room. I help save lives for a living. I’ve been doing it for about 14 years an I love it. Its just another way for me to make other peoples lives that much better day in and day out.

What is the message you hope to portray to other plus size men?

Be yourself. Don’t try to fit into anyone else’s idea of what you should be. If you want to lose weight do it, if not then don’t. Just know that you are the only you in this world and that makes you the best you there is no matter what. As long as you are happy with yourself nothing else matters.

Want to Follow Benjamin?

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/benjaminmontanez/ and https://www.instagram.com/show_love_for_the_bigguy/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/benjamin.montanez.12

Snapchat:  bambam559