This series has actually been requested over and over again on my social media – and that’s people asking me to share my healthy living and fitness journey as I go….so, I’d like to introduce you to my new series – #LoveBodyJourney. The journey to loving my body is still on going and I believe that it is a daily choice we make. This post will cover the process leading up to starting on this journey and I will share with you over the coming months, a new part of the journey until we catch up to where I am today. I will also address how one can be body positive all while losing weight and getting healthy. I have been attacked that I’m actually not body positive because I have lost 80 pounds and yet from others, I have been attacked saying I’m still too fat and how can I love my body (for the record, what others think does not matter). But as you read through this series, you will understand that for me, the weight loss has not been about getting to ‘skinny’ – it is of far greater importance and It’s helped me to learn to love my body today even more.
Sooooo, let’s take it wayyyyy back….
I started out in this world larger than most….weighing close to 10 lbs at birth (my poor mom) and 23 ½ inches long (you realize that’s like 2 feet almost lol). I was bullied growing up for being bigger and taller and by the age of 12 was a size 12. I remember going to the doctor and she wanted to send me to fat camp and I just cried and refused to go. I tried every diet in the book and I would overwork myself and usually just ended up gaining weight back.
Now here’s something I’ll mention…my lowest weight in my adult life was at this point. I was 198 pounds, a size 12 and I still hated my body and thought it was hideous. I gained all my weight back and then some over the years (and quite significantly while I was married and in an abusive relationship) and then again just before I split from my ex-husband I tried to lose the weight again, only to then gain it all back, again. So I was 2 for 0 losing about 100 pounds and I wasn’t any happier, gained all my weight back and still hated who I was. I always tried to get back to my 198 weight and thought if I could just get back there, I’d be happy… but, I was wrong until at one point I finally started to get it right…
I truly believe that if I didn’t address the inside, the outside would have never changed or at least the change would not have been sustained. I loved myself even at my heaviest weight back in June 2014. I had truly learned that I was pretty amazing, worthy of love and that I was valuable, important, strong and beautiful. My weight did not define me. So let’s talk about my situation at that point….
I was 320 pounds, a size 22 (I’m 5’11 in case you are wondering). I am a big girl, always have been. Although my insides were great (emotionally, spiritually, etc), my body was in pain. I had no reported health risks from my doctor (no diabetes, no heart issues, nothing like that), but I was in a car accident back in 2010 that has left me in pain every day. My back, neck and shoulders are a very big issue and by the time 2014 came around I wasn’t able to do any physical activity without being in even more pain – my ribs frequently popped out, I often couldn’t even stand up straight because my back would go out and I would describe the pain in my shoulder blades as though someone had hot daggers stuck in there.
These are some photos from the Miss Plus Canada Pageant taken by Rebecca Northcott Photography where I was at my heaviest. As you can see from the smile on my face – I truly was happy, I loved me and was confident in who I was…I mean come on, if I wasn’t do you think there’s anyway I’d prance on stage in a swimsuit and 6 inch pumps, hellll no!
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After winning Miss Plus Canada, I questioned what message that would portray to women about how I loved myself. But I kept thinking about the pain I was in and something had to be done – whether it was surgery or not. See, I thought that if I could get some weight off the pain would go away so that was the sole reason I went down this path to begin with. I couldn’t do any exercise because of my pain so the weight just kept piling on….I thought it was my only option.
A week after winning, a friend mentioned Whole 30 to me. When I did some research in the testimonial section I found reports of people who had suffered from back pain for over 25 years and when they made this change to their diet their pain was gone. This was the first sign of hope for me. So, the premise with Whole 30 is to remove the foods that cause inflammation in your body – my body had been riddled with inflammation therefore keeping me stuck and not allowing me to get out of pain. So, remove the inflammation, remove the pain? Maybe? Well, it was worth a shot. So, on July 7th this Italian who loves her bread, pasta and cheese embarked on committing to 30 days with no grains, dairy, sugar or processed foods. At this point, I kept my surgery day booked in case there was no change. I had from July until December 2nd to make a decision on whether to go under the knife or not.
After my first 30 days was complete, I checked my notebook and had 4 days with no pain. Say what? Did I find something that was natural that might actually help my pain levels? Did I have a chance at a normal life? Oh and in my first 30 days, I also dropped 15 pounds. So, I committed to keep going the Whole 30 way. It has now been over a year and a half and I still eat really closely to the Whole 30 diet. I eat a little bit more carbs now but only because of how much I’ve been working out (but I still do not eat wheat – just brown rice and potatoes).
So, stage 1 was complete – I tackled getting my pain levels down by reducing inflammation and I transformed my nutrition, feeding my body all healthy, natural foods. I did this for 3 months.
I’ll leave it here for now and pick up next week on what I did next….so stay tuned.
Stay Beautiful,
Such a great read!