Rewriting Fairy Tales …

Once upon a time, there lived a girl….Her name was Princess Sarah.  No for real, Sarah actually means princess, so I was born royal, right?  Anyways, Sarah grew up always wanting to feel beautiful, to be loved and to be a princess. 

However, growing up, people used the term ‘princess’ in a negative connotation and I never embraced the meaning of my name but rather did the opposite and looked down on myself.  The worst culprit for this was my ex-husband.  He would call me a princess because I would put up a fight when he wanted me to do something I didn’t want to.  Eventually I lost my voice and stopped standing up for myself and just ‘took it like a big girl’ – this is never OK!  The worst instance of how he made me feel was on my wedding day.   I remember wanting to feel like a princess on our wedding day and I also wanted to hide under fabric so people couldn’t really see my body.  I chose a wedding dress that resembled a cupcake – blingy on the top and big and poufy on the bottom. I actually felt beautiful on that day, but my husband told me how he didn’t like my dress and wished I chose something different….I was heartbroken, sad, and again like most of my life, I felt not good enough.  Looking back, I looked beautiful, but was not happy and it was actually one of the saddest days of my life, because I didn’t realize how great I was and settled….

Now here is where the problem lies…yes he was a douche…we know that.  But, all my life (up until the last couple years that is) my happiness, fulfillment in life, and approval came from other people having to give it to me and if I didn’t get the affirmations I so desperately craved, I was just so downcast, unhappy and thought I would never live up to anyone’s expectations let alone my own.

But, here is where things get exciting…on this journey of learning to love all of me – not just who I am in countenance, personality and abilities but now all of my lumps, bumps, curves and handles, I no longer need others to validate me.  And, the whole idea of my life won’t start until 1. I’m skinny and 2. Have a man has been utterly shattered!!  Like obliterated, demolished, decimated….you get the picture.

I have this amazing life!  Like come on!  I have amazing friends, family and support.  I have a well-paying job with a great team.  I own my own home.  I’m living my dream of being a model and hello, I won Miss Plus Canada.  All of those things have happened in the last year (minus the amazing friends, family and support, they were always there).  Life has been epic! I’m beyond grateful and I’m enjoying this ride we call life to the fullest!

So when I knew I needed a dress for our annual WINGS Maternity Home Fundraising Gala my wheels started turning.  The thought crossed my mind about having something custom made…but could I really have something custom made just for the gala?  HECK YES!!!  

When I met with Annika – The Stylish Reid, I showed her some images of some dresses I liked.  They all resembled what I wanted but it wasn’t until the end of our meeting that I actually showed her what I really wanted….it was a picture of my dream wedding dress.  So, I told her, make my dream wedding dress in PINK!  Why would I do that you ask, why not wait till I’m married to have the dress I want….well who knows when that will be and I didn’t really want to wait to wear something I really, really wanted to wear.  Which is why I say….I’m re-writing Fairy Tale Endings.  I’m living my storybook life now and I want to take every opportunity to do what I want –not what others want me to do, not what will please others, I wanted to do me!  So, I did.  

The other reason I chose to actually do this dress design was because I really wanted to make a statement to myself (and others) that I’ve embraced allllll my curves and wanted to celebrate them….so there you have it, my 2 previous #lifegoals just obliterated…..Life will not be complete when I’m skinny or have a man…life is complete now.  Sure, more things are on their way for me, but I want to celebrate every day!  

And out of this place….came my beautiful hot pink mermaid gown.  I felt beautiful in this dress and I felt confident and I actually wish I could wear it like every day!  

Thank you to Annika Reid for really taking my vision and making it come to life and thank you to JoJo Smith of JS Photography for capturing the below photos so I could remember this day! I realized I’ve included a lot of photos (and there are more I didn’t include)….but I had so much fun capturing my dream dress with JoJo and just had to include a bunch of photos to celebrate this day!  Of course there are some silly ones too…

 And a very big thank you to Nichole (my makeup artist of choice) for doing not only my makeup for the WINGS gala but my mama’s in the house too!  

Stay Beautiful,